So much always seems to happen in so little time. 2 months since my last post, holy moly. In that same time, I’ve shot another kid out of my vajayjay and am trying to find a new normal. Mr. Jacob Tobias joined our world of chaos on October 2nd after being induced for a total of 5 1/2 hours of labor, 45 minutes of which were complete and total hell. Weighing 8 pounds 3 ounces and measuring 21 inches long. Fitting in much like his siblings on weight and height.

Holy Shit, I now have 5 kids!

This new little ray of sunshine is the most adorable little angel ever! He is such a good baby, but I’ve been so lucky in that sense. All my kiddos were adorable, sweet sleeping angels. They were calm and so easy. But then, they start to walk and learn to speak which leads them into aΒ transformation where they become total and complete pains in the ass. It’s crazy how it happens, it’s like a run away train that you don’t even see coming until it hits you right in the face. The Joy.

Run away train, that is literally what my body feels like it has experienced. Its no joke to go through labor and it is completely tough on your body. Having had 5 children vaginally and now being 34 years old it does not get easier. I’ve had my first 3 labors with an epidural and let me tell you, it was amazing to not have that pain. The fact that I didn’t ‘feel’ the crowning and the pains does not bother me one bit. I know there is women out there who it does, do not include me as one of them. I have never experienced any complications from receiving an epidural, thank goodness. No dizziness or nausea during and no pain in injection site after. Very blessed.

My last 2 labors I could not get an epidural, it wasn’t by choice I was medically unable to and they were no walks in the park. My 4th labor, 1st with no epidural, I spent mostly on the birthing ball. After 3 hours the pain intensified and the nurses couldn’t understand the feeling I was experiencing. I felt like I needed to pee so bad while at the same time Freddy Kruger was trying to yank out my uterus while scrapping it out with his claws. It was a horrible feeling for an hour and half. 90 PLUS minutes! I went to the restroom to pee and I remember sitting on the toilet, crying. Holding onto the sink crying and praying to my grandmothers who had 7 and 14 children. Asking them to give me their strength, focus and ability to ‘do this.’ When I came out of the restroom, I got on the bed and the contraction began and didn’t stop. The nurse finally checked me discovering that the baby was ready to crown. My body immediately after started pushing out the baby by itself. It’s amazing how your body knows what to do. It hurt so bad, I was crying and grunting. Ugh. The crowning of the head was the worst burning feeling, ‘Ring of Fire’ is a very appropriate description. When the nurse put the baby on my chest, I couldn’t even open my eyes I was so exhausted to look at her. Then the delivering of the placenta began, Ohmygod! The pulling and tugging was again excruciating. Then, the stitching of where my vagina tore began. Holy hell. I felt every pinching/burning sensation of the needle and tugging as he stitched me. Aaahhh! Every time I grunted from the pain, Dr would just repeat non chalantly, “almost done.” “THEN BE DONE!!” The recovery after was horrible as well. Swelling, bleeding, pain in lower back and cramping. Bleeding sore nipples. Sleepless nights. I could go on and on. Thank goodness my hubby was home on Paternity Leave for the 6 weeks while I recovered, I sure needed it.

This go around, the labor started outΒ just the same as the 4th except when I began to feel that ‘uterus being yanked/clawed out’ feeling, I asked to be checked. I wasn’t about to go any second longer than I had to. Unfortunately I wasn’t quite ready, only 8 1/2 centimeters dilated and baby not in the birth canal yet. In my mind however I thought ‘Fuck it!!’ I began to push, ready or not. Luckily my doctor took pity on me and said, “Go ahead and start pushing, you’ll get rid of the cervix as you push baby down.” Not that him giving me the ok was what I was waiting for. I had already began to push wether HE was ready or not. It only took me 3 pushes and baby was out. Once I began to feel the ‘ring of fire,’ I kept pushing until he was out. When you expierence a pain like that, you do anything possible to make it stop. I only suffered this pain for 42 minutes this time from when it intensified to when baby was fully delivered. I would guess that because I didn’t go so long with my body under so much pressure I wasn’t so worn down and I was instantly ‘ok’. Well, after the placenta was delivered and my vagina was stitched up. Ugh.

Crazy, totally crazy the miracle and madness of having a baby. Now, do I still want to have another?? Baby number 6?? (Maybe I’m a little insane?!) I may be crazy to actually, possibly, maybe want another one but I do know I’m a fucking badass for giving birth without an epidural a 2nd time and just simply for being a mom. A breastfeeding mom. A mom of 5! BooYa!